Phone Modus Operandi

I woke up with a start when our helper came in my room, staring at me with a confused look saying "Si Bil naman to" This is Belle. So I go "Sino pa nga ba? E kwarto ko to" Who else could it be? This is my room. She kept saying it over and over again to the point of me thinking that she's gone bonkers. I was already irritated cus she was in my dream. It annoyed me more that she was in my room just staring at me, so I said “Ano?” What? She then shows me a piece of paper and starts whispering random words at me; “Bil... tumawag... phone... secretary... kotsi... aksidenti … Norris (or atleast it sounded like Norris)”. So I thought Oh my God, Norris got into an accident. But why are they calling me? Then she went on saying “Bilya Plores.. aksidenti...”, she has a very thick Bicolana mixed with something else kind of accent so what I thought was Norris was actually Flores. My heart started pounding out of my chest because my mom's name is Bella Flor. Thousands of I should have's exploded in my head... I was in the brink of tears when I finally decided to just talk to whoever was on the phone.

Me: Hello? Yes? (I was trying to say What is this about?)
Female voice: Sino to? Who's this?
Me: (confused & a little irritated cus they called my house) Nakatira ako dito. Sino to? I live here. Who's this?
Female voice: Si Michelle.
Me: Ok Michelle. Tungkol saan to? What's this about?
Female voice: Sino to? Who's this?
Me: Nakatira nga ako dito... Tungkol ba saan to? … Bakit kayo napatawag? ...Sinong hinahanap niyo? I live here... what is this about?... why did you call?... who are you looking for?
(The woman on the other line was not really speaking)
Female voice: Si Mam Azusena po ang gusto kong kausapin. It is Ma'am Azusena that I would like to speak to.
Me: (Irritated that she has not told me anything and did not want to speak me) Tungkol ba saan to? Bakit nga kayo tumawag? What is this about? Why did you call?
Female voice: Sino to? Who's this? (click)
The woman hung up on me.

Our helper then told me the entire conversation with the woman. She said that she thought I got into an accident. She didn't know my full name so she thought it was me the lady was talking about. The lady on the other line said that the name they mentioned (which our helper thought was me), along with two people, got into an accident. My two friends have lost consciousness and I was the only one able to communicate with the police. Michelle asked who else was home and when our helper said that my brother was home, Michelle told her not to call him because I don't want my brother to know that I got into an accident. She went on saying that I have busted my mouth pretty bad and it's swollen and bleeding but that they've already put cotton in it so I should be fine.

A lawyer then spoke to our helper and said that I, and my other friends hit a rich Chinese family's car and that their son is badly wounded. They said that we were to be put in jail if we don't pay the family. Our helper then said that she talked to me on the phone crying, saying that I need her to go upstairs in my room and open my jewelry box and get the white envelope with the money in it. HAH! Stupid Modus operandi folks thought I'd actually have a jewelery box --- and money for that matter! Eat shit MoFos!!!

Anyways, Michelle then came back saying that I can not speak anymore because of my busted mouth. Our helper then said “Hindi ko alam yang jewelery box” I don't know anything about a jewelery box. Michelle then said that I have written something and she'll just read it. “Binayaran ko na sila kaya lang kulang ate. Kailangan ko pa ng pera. Dalhin mo ang phone sa taas. Pumunta ka sa kwarto ko andun yung jewelery box. Wag mong sabihin kay kuya kasi ayokong malaman niya.” I already paid them but it wasn't enough. I need more money. Bring the phone upstairs. Go to my room, my jewelery box is in there. Don't tell my brother 'cus I don't want him to know. Michelle then said that once our helper has the money, she'll have to go and meet up with her somewhere.

Damn them all to perdition! I've heard about this kind of modus operandi in the news. I just didnt think I'd experience it first hand. I don't even want to think about what could have happened if I went to work today. But there are other scams going on everywhere and I hope that we become vigilant in educating each other so this kind of modus operandi will never work. If there aren't anyone to fool, no one would try to.

But I gotta tell you, I'd take that kind of modus operandi call than the one I previously thought.

Taxi adventures: "Manong bat nakatayo ang mga balahibo mo?!"

Heto nanaman ako sa mga taxi adventures ko.


Galing Makati, pumunta ako ng Taguig para i-meet ang kaibigan ko.


Ako: Boss, taguig po.


Drayber: Mam sarado ang ayala daan na lang tayo sa Bayani road.

Hindi ko alam kung anong pinagsasasabi niya dahil kakakain ko lang ng butterscotch "adult" ice cream (may halong whiskey pero parang may halong ice cream lang yung whiskey). At mejo gumegewang pa ang mundo ko.

Ako: Ah oo sige dun na lang!

Rrrring Rrring!

Tumawag ang kaibigan ko. Nakipagkwentuhan at nakipagtawanan sa telepono. Napansin ko, na si manong ay tingin ng tingin sa akin at sa kanyang kaliwang gilid. Shempre na-aning nanaman ako! kakabili ko lang ng telepono at ayoko ng mawala nanaman ito kaya gumawa gawa na lang ako ng kwento sa kaibigan ko.

Ako: Wala na nga akong pera eh! Siguro hanggang 3 araw na lang ang kakayanin ng pera ko. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko .. haaaay.


Kunwari lang yun para hindi ako mapagisipan ng masama ni kuya.


Click.

May nadaanan kaming sementeryo. Malaki ito at maganda. Napatingin ako ng mga tatlumpung segundo.
Nawirduhan nanaman ako kay manong drayber. Hindi niya sinasagot ang telepono niyang ring ng ring at tingin sha ng tingin sa akin.

Nagising nanaman ako sa aking ulirat at pumagitna sa likod. Sinuksok ko ang ulo ko sa gitna ng dalawang upuan sa harapan. Tingin sakin ng tingin ang manong.
Nang biglangbiglang...


Ako: Manong! Nakatayo ang mga balahibo mo sa kamay!


Binuksan ng manong drayber ng ilaw at pilit niyang ibinababa ang mga buhok sa braso.
Mejo na-aning nanaman ako.


Ako: Hala kuya! Bakit nakatayo ang mga balahibo mo?!


Oo sumisigaw na ako nito sa sobrang pagka-aning.


Drayber: Wala mam. May pumara kasi satin kaning babae.

Ako: HAH!? (laglag baba...) Hinampas ko ng pagkalakas-lakas si kuya at tumili pa yata ako ng kaunti. Kuya! Wag mo akong tatakutin!! Nakakainis ka naman eh!

Drayber: Hindi ko kayo tinatakot mam. Akala ko nga nakita mo kasi tumingin ka sa kanya ng matagal.

Ako: EEeeeeeh! Kuyaaaaaaaaa! Hampas, hampas.


Naiiyak na talaga ako nito. Punyetang ice cream yan.

Sinabihan ako ni kuya na wag na akong matakot kasi wala na. Parati naman daw shang may nakikita doon sa lugar na yun. Akala lang daw niya ay nakita ko din. Anak nang! Kung may nakita man ako.. hindi ko sha tititigan noo!



Nagbayad na ko kay kuya ng 120php.

Ako: Hay nako kuya. May nagsabi sakin dati na dapat daw isarado ko yang third-eye na yan. Baka nga daw may third eye ako. Minsan kasi bigla na lang akong kikilabutan! Totoo! Hindi ko rin maintindihan kung bakit ako nakakatitig dun kanina eh. Wala naman akong nakita.


(Mejo mas madaldal ako pag naimpluwensyahan ng alkohol. Mahaba pa ito, hindi ko lang maalala)

Drayber: Mam, pwede na po kayong bumaba.

Ako: Ay sori. Sige ingat!

It's not me... It is soooo You

(Click on image before reading)

For Spite
For Leers
For Gossip
For Jeers

For stepping stones
And broken bones
Angelic smiles
And evil guiles

For Immaturity
For Over-sensitivity
For the ability of Negativity...

These visruses spread like the flu...
All I wanna say is;

"It's not me... it's definitely YOU".

In my mind's eye

I have always wanted to be an artist, but I lack the talent and creativity for it. I tried painting an old chair once when i was about 13 and I couldn't even do it properly. Paint was everywhere.

I tried my artistic prowess on a vase that I found at home. I painted it with flowers and spirals and even coated it with a thin film of varnish. A few weeks later my mom saw it and said... "itapon na yan." Hu hu hu. =<

I have also tried painting my old room with blasts of colors and drawings of dilapidated flowers and even just swirls and silver and gold... it looked like a cow threw up on it.

I used to watch a friend of mine paint. He would spend so much time on one area then on to the next then back to the other again. He would explain what kind of effect he's going for. I could watch him for hours just trying to shade and rub and mix colors for the entire day if he'd only let me. But he usually feels guilty because he thinks I get bored watching. He told me that he could teach me the basics of painting if I would allow him to... but I was afraid that once he found out how untalented I truly am.. he might think twice about being my friend so I said no. Hu hu hu.

Hence, a camera is the only solution.

A lot of my friends have told me that I have a good eye and that I should start capturing beautiful things instead of making them since I really can't.

But now that I have a pretty decent camera for a beginner, I find myself taking pictures of specific things but nothing in particular.

I capture random things which I think are beautiful in my mind's eye .. but once I have taken it... it seems to lose its luster and beauty.

Ahh... the dilemma of a wannabe artist. I would love to walk around quiapo and click away. But I'm afraid that someone would kick me senseless into the gutter and take my camera from me.

I wanna just walk around ayala ave at 3am in the morning just to capture and bask in the beauty of its silence but I'm afraid that I might get lost in that world and i won't be able to face the morning after.

Or people might think Im crazy and call the cops on me. (I have aknack of making people think that I'm up to no good -- remember the taxi driver?)

So now I don't know what type of photos I should take and how I can strip all my inhibitions away. I hate being called a wannabe and right now I truly am. I hate being called pretentious because right now I feel like I'm just pretending to know what I'm doing. I wish artistry was innate in me but it's not.

People say that I show my creativity in the way i dress... but I think I dress normal enough. Nothing out of the ordinary -- not to my standards at least.

Arrgh.. I am so frustrated it's not even funny.

Manong Drayber: Baka naman may naghihintay jan na kasabwat mo!

Eto nanaman ako sa aking taxi adventures!

Sumakay ako ng taxi pauwi pagkatapos naming uminom ng Gin premium w/ green tea extract ng mga ka opisina ko. BIglang nag alburuto ang tiyan ko... nakipag talo pa ko sa sarili ko. Pag umutot ako dito sa loob, ma-aamoy kaya ni kuya? Napag desisyonan ko na wag na lang kasi ako din ang magiging kawawa sa lupet ng magiging amoy nito. Masama talaga ang pakiramdam ko noon dahil nga gusto ko ng magbawas.
Kaya nung malapit na ko sa bahay ko at biglang lumiko and manong drayber... galit na galit lang talaga ako!

Drayber: Dead end na yun ma'am.

Ako: Hindi, diretcho ka lang.

Drayber: Hindi pwede, dead end na yan. Kumanan sha pabalik sa p.tuazon (main road)

Ako: Kuya! San ka pupunta? Yun na yung bahay ko oh!

Drayber: Ah hinde. Hindi ako babalik dun!

Ako: Ha?! San mo ko dadalhin? andun na yung bahay ko!

Drayber: Mamaya may nag hihintay sakin dun! Hindi na ko babalik dun!

Ako: Kuya! Mukha ba kong magnanakaw? Ano ka ba?! Pag kanan mo dun katipunan na kaya yun! Hindi yun dead end mamatay man ako dito sa taxi mo ngayon!

(Nag aalburuto na talaga ang tiyan ko nito... nakadungaw na yata.)

Drayber: Hindi talaga! Ibababa na lang kita sa katipunan.

Ako: HA!? (drop jaw ito) Eh pano ko uuwe?

Drayber: Mag tricycle ka!

Ako: May nakikita ka bang tricycle??? Alas tres na ng umaga! Alangan na mang maglakad ako from katipunan to p.tuazon!!!

Drayber: Ah basta...

Ako: Sige baba mo ko kahit san dito... hindi kita babayaran. (140 na ang bill)

Drayber: Aba... hindi pwede yan.

Ako: Kaya nga ako nag taxi para hindi ako maglakad tapos kung san san mo lang ako ibababa!

Drayber: Ayusin na lang natin to sa prisinto. (May prisintong malapit sa amin)

Ako: (Keber face) Aba e di punta tayo dun! Ako pa tinakot mo!

Sa prisinto, may 3 pulis na nag uusap. Bumababa ako ng taxi at sinabi ko na hindi ko babayaran yung taxi kasi ayaw niya ko ihatid sa bahay ko. Aba ang manong drayber nagsi-sisigaw doon. Kesho may kasabwat daw ako! Napatawa na lang ako kasi ang sabi ng mamang pulis ay:

Muka ba namang mang gagancho si ma'am? Tingnan mo naman itsura ni ma'am naka dress na makintab pa! (Naka pula akong bistida na may sequins sa may neck-line... susyal! hehe)

Si manong drayber biglang kabig at ipinakita sa mamang pulis and hiwa sa gilid ng kanyang leeg.

Na holdap na po kasi ako noon ser. Babae din. Ayoko ng mangyari ulit uon. Na-trauma po kasi ako. Sana mainindihan niyo.

Mejo naawa naman ako di ba... pero bakit niya nilalahat? HIndi tama yon!

Ako: E di wag mo na ko ihatid dun sa bahay ko. Basta hindi ako magbabayad!

Drayber: Ser! Sabihan niyo naman!

Mamang Pulis: O sha sha... sasamahan ko na lang kayo sa bahay ni ma'am.

Ako: Salamat po.

(Hindi na ko nag salita sa loob ng taxi kasi nga amoy chico ako. Baka sabihin ng pulis eh lasengera ako.... hmm... actually....)

Hinatid ako ng drayber at ni mamang pulis sa bahay ko.

Drayber: Pasensha na ma'am.. mukha kasing dead end kanina eh.

Ako: Sabi ko naman sa yo hindi eh. O sha eto na. (nagpasalamat ako sa mamang pulis)

Haay! Baligtad na talaga ang mundo. Ang mga drayber na ngayon ang takot sa mga maliliit na babaeng katulad ko.

Pagkamalan ba namang akong mang ho-holdap!?

Hindi ko rin naman masisi si kuya kasi nga wala naman sa itsura ang mga masasamang loob. Minsan nga, yung mga naka kurbata pa ang mga snatser. Ikinwento ko ito sa mama ko at ang sabi niya sakin ay mag-resign na daw ako kasi delikado daw. Ang sabi ko naman sa kanya, ma kahit saan naman may ganyan. Kailangan lang akong mag ingat. Taguig, makati, sukat, ortigas o cubao man yan.

Nakakatakot naman talaga ang mundo ngayon. Pero kung sa bahay ka lang naman at mabuhay ka sa takot... eh wala ng mangyayari sa buhay mo. Katulad ng sinabi ng isang munting asul na isda.."if you don't want anything to happen to him, then NOTHING will ever happen to him"

Haay buhay.

Urbandictionary Definition - Belle

I, along with some of my colleagues, was checking out definitions in Urbandictionary and I didnt want to check out my nickname Belle since it isn't really my name and I already knew what it meant. But I typed it in anyways. At first it was the usual definition like "Beautiful" and so on. But as I scrolled down, the other meanings caught me by surprise.

Belle: short girl,high class fashionable clothes.sucks at life,smart in school.she is very ditzy,like a pino blonde.Skank!haha jk.

"Dude love your clothes, so Belle."

Belle: A word used to describe those midget-type angry women, who have to compensate for their shortcomings by playing juvenile games with other

cruddies.

"That Belle sure doesn't know how to accept responsibility for her actions. Hopefully she'll be smarter one day, but I won't hold my breath."

Hmm... I was a bit surprised. A colleague said that she was sure that those definitions came from someone at work.
I was a bit offended. Not by what was said but by what the meaning of my name is. Urbandictionary is no Merriam webster or dictionary.com but still.
I started thinking if it was really about me.

Sure hit me where it hurt.

But then I never thought I was angry. Just defensive and short. Napoleon Syndrome much?

I started wondering who could have written such a callous attempt to hurt my cold cold heart. I guess I was just annoyed that a colleague had to tell everyone about the definition and would tell whoever else did not know about it. Of course whoever read saw it agreed with a laugh.

Then I decided that I don't give a rat's ass. Atleast I was on Urban dictionary! :)

But then I looked it up again and found out that the 1st meaning was written back in June 2004 and the second one.... Well look at that! Feb 2, 2008!

Definitely not from the office.

I guess its some other Belle who is almost exacly like me. A doppelganger maybe?

Hmmm... how curious.