...

In this world filled with "free minds" and faces with "no judgement", I have never felt so ashamed to be me.

We are as we act.
We are as we speak.
We are as we think.
We are as we are treated.

I am not as expected. 
I am as you see.

But this is not all that is me. 

Status: SINGLE... so what?

We had a big family reunion last week in Ilocos and though I loved going there, I always find myself putting on my fake face.

Why? Because there are so much niceties and traditions that must be done even though I don't feel like it. Like saying "helleooow" to people I don't know. Playing nice to others I don't really care much about.

That's why I always bring my ipod and a book wherever I go. An excuse to escape. On this trip, I brought my dslr. A very good excuse to roam around the village without answering too many questions.

Questions such as; "Annabelle, do you have a boyfriend?"

"No tita."

"Why not? No one courting you"? (with a face which will make anyone feel like they're the ugliest human being alive. Either that or they give you a look where it seems like they're thinking 'there must be something wrong with her')

"Uh... ah... oh look! A flying bird! I have to catch it on flight! Bye tita!"

Avoiding questions like that seems inevitable cus it follows me everywhere I go. It's like there's definitely something wrong with you if you're not in a romantic relaitonship. I mean ... what is the big effing deal? If I'm not bothered, why are the rest bothered?

I had dinner with my family at a Chinese restaurant the other day and while I was drinking tea, my mom asked me the same question that everyone has been asking me. And when I said;

"No ma, I don't"

"Well, I wanna wear a beautiful gown for your wedding so could you hurry up and get yourself a boyfriend?"

"Well ma, I was planning on just grabbing a very good looking guy and just tricking him to have sex with me!"

My mom gave me the nastiest look then said..."Gaga"

I just smiled at her and said... "I don't have a boyfriend Ma, so don't expect me to get married any time soon."

Her face changed and gave me this look that was filled with so much pity. She touched my hair and she said; "You're very pretty".

A tear almost fell...

I looked at my tea cup just staring at the tea dregs. I was dumbfounded when i saw what it was shaped like. It reminded me of Harry trying to decipher his tea dregs and how Ms.Trelawney said that the grim symbolizes doom and death.

I wondered what mine represented. click! click! click!... I stirred it... I didn't want to be bothered with it anymore.

There are others who ask me about a very close friend of mine. "Why don't you just go for him? He's cute."

Urm.. uhh... because I don't want to. Just because I'm single, doesnt mean i'll go for the first guy who has a thing for me.

I understand that most of my friends and family just want me to be happy.

That's just the thing though... I am happy.

I'm perfectly fine.

And I don't need the incessant questioning to waver my happily thought of happiness.

It doesn't make things any better.

It just makes me think more of my jadedness... of my inability to feel romance and affection.

Apathy has helped me go through a lot. Why stop now?

Thinking with Your Hair

There are a lot of people who think with their hair and not with their brain. Well, it is pretty close to the brain. They probably thought that since the hair has roots, it has major connection to the brain! BRA-VO! Jeez! It’s hard to be logical and civil when the people around you seem to be coaxing you to be otherwise.

With all the technological advancements and knowledge that we have acquired, it seems that we are going back to the ice age with these moronic interventions.

Ah, I apologize for my hastiness. Let me explain what this Moronic Intervention is. It is a type of intrusion that only morons would do. Okay, too subjective. Let’s start of with; Intervention is a type of participation wherein one partakes in sharing or helping another from a certain situation. Moronic, coming from the root word Moron, is a person who does not think of the outcome of his/her actions. It is one who thinks not with the brain but with his/her hair roots, thus the term Moronic Intervention. It is a type of intervention wherein the participants and their actions are moronic in manner.

With the given definition, let me test your skills. Given below are situations. Give the most suitable answer.

1. You catch your friend stealing chemicals from the chem. Lab. What would you do?
A. Tell her that she forgot to get the rest on the other cupboards
B. Tell her that mixing sulfur and water will be horrendous for the skin if touched and give her a load of moisturizer with placenta cream
C. Tell the professor right away! You might get extra points for being such an upstanding student.

2. A friend of yours keeps smoking even though he has been coughing for 6 months straight, what would you do?
A. Tell him to buy a facemask so he won’t spread his germs.
B. Buy your own facemask so you won’t get his germs.
C. Stop being his friend.

3. When you are angry or annoyed at a person, what do you usually do?
A. Make “parinig” that they are ugly and YOU are gorgeous
B. Vandalize their name in the school CR and answer your own vandalism with more vandalism until you fill up all the stalls with vandalism making sure that you use a permanent marker
C. Learn witchcraft

4. At school you see your boyfriend with one of his girl buddies, what will you do?
A. Cut class and watch their every move.
B. Have someone else cut class and watch their every move.
C. Hire an investigator.

5. You catch your friend cheating on the exams and the professor seems to be eying him, so you;
A. Ask for answers before the professor catches him.
B. Tell the teacher right away… you might get extra points for being so honest
C. Tell him “YOU ARE A SINNER AND YOU WILL BURN IN THE FIRES OF HEEELLLLL!!!”

How does one think with their hair? It’s not hard to spot a hair thinker. They are the ones who think that it takes too much effort to use a percentage of the actual brain so they limit themselves with their hair. Rash decisions are made. Unreasonable defenses are given for any bad action. Immaturity is fought with immaturity and Moronic Interventions are taken as if it is the only choice.

A simple misunderstanding can turn into warfare when there are extraneous variables roaming the universe. The ones thinking with their hair are the ones so ignorant that they refuse to think that there is more to life than making fun of other people or trying to pick a fight. See, the ones who think with their hair care so much on how their “hair” looks like that it would be ghastly if they did not think with it. Ah… reputation. It is the killer of all the killers. Reputation... Pride… Ego, they all come as one.

I would do anything not to think with my hair. But it seems inevitable. So, if I am to think with my hair, I might as well fix it. Cleanse it, condition it and free it from any parasite. This way I can say that though I think with my hair, at least I do it with no tangles, no split ends and no smell.

Note to the public:
If you answered even one of the questions, I recommend a trip to the salon. You might as well look nice if you are to think with your hair. Ψ

(This article was originally written for Freudian Slip, BS Psychology's Newsletter for the university I went to where, surprisingly, I was the Editor-in-Chief.)