Thinking with Your Hair

There are a lot of people who think with their hair and not with their brain. Well, it is pretty close to the brain. They probably thought that since the hair has roots, it has major connection to the brain! BRA-VO! Jeez! It’s hard to be logical and civil when the people around you seem to be coaxing you to be otherwise.

With all the technological advancements and knowledge that we have acquired, it seems that we are going back to the ice age with these moronic interventions.

Ah, I apologize for my hastiness. Let me explain what this Moronic Intervention is. It is a type of intrusion that only morons would do. Okay, too subjective. Let’s start of with; Intervention is a type of participation wherein one partakes in sharing or helping another from a certain situation. Moronic, coming from the root word Moron, is a person who does not think of the outcome of his/her actions. It is one who thinks not with the brain but with his/her hair roots, thus the term Moronic Intervention. It is a type of intervention wherein the participants and their actions are moronic in manner.

With the given definition, let me test your skills. Given below are situations. Give the most suitable answer.

1. You catch your friend stealing chemicals from the chem. Lab. What would you do?
A. Tell her that she forgot to get the rest on the other cupboards
B. Tell her that mixing sulfur and water will be horrendous for the skin if touched and give her a load of moisturizer with placenta cream
C. Tell the professor right away! You might get extra points for being such an upstanding student.

2. A friend of yours keeps smoking even though he has been coughing for 6 months straight, what would you do?
A. Tell him to buy a facemask so he won’t spread his germs.
B. Buy your own facemask so you won’t get his germs.
C. Stop being his friend.

3. When you are angry or annoyed at a person, what do you usually do?
A. Make “parinig” that they are ugly and YOU are gorgeous
B. Vandalize their name in the school CR and answer your own vandalism with more vandalism until you fill up all the stalls with vandalism making sure that you use a permanent marker
C. Learn witchcraft

4. At school you see your boyfriend with one of his girl buddies, what will you do?
A. Cut class and watch their every move.
B. Have someone else cut class and watch their every move.
C. Hire an investigator.

5. You catch your friend cheating on the exams and the professor seems to be eying him, so you;
A. Ask for answers before the professor catches him.
B. Tell the teacher right away… you might get extra points for being so honest
C. Tell him “YOU ARE A SINNER AND YOU WILL BURN IN THE FIRES OF HEEELLLLL!!!”

How does one think with their hair? It’s not hard to spot a hair thinker. They are the ones who think that it takes too much effort to use a percentage of the actual brain so they limit themselves with their hair. Rash decisions are made. Unreasonable defenses are given for any bad action. Immaturity is fought with immaturity and Moronic Interventions are taken as if it is the only choice.

A simple misunderstanding can turn into warfare when there are extraneous variables roaming the universe. The ones thinking with their hair are the ones so ignorant that they refuse to think that there is more to life than making fun of other people or trying to pick a fight. See, the ones who think with their hair care so much on how their “hair” looks like that it would be ghastly if they did not think with it. Ah… reputation. It is the killer of all the killers. Reputation... Pride… Ego, they all come as one.

I would do anything not to think with my hair. But it seems inevitable. So, if I am to think with my hair, I might as well fix it. Cleanse it, condition it and free it from any parasite. This way I can say that though I think with my hair, at least I do it with no tangles, no split ends and no smell.

Note to the public:
If you answered even one of the questions, I recommend a trip to the salon. You might as well look nice if you are to think with your hair. Ψ

(This article was originally written for Freudian Slip, BS Psychology's Newsletter for the university I went to where, surprisingly, I was the Editor-in-Chief.)