Monday, April 11, 2011

Eternal Sunshine

Watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind brought about so much fleeting fancies I haven't had in a long time.


I’m lost, I’m scared

I feel like I’m disappearing.

My skin’s coming off

I’m getting old.

Nothing makes any sense to me

Nothing makes any sense!

There comes a point in your life when you start feeling this way. And you think to yourself that there’s something absolutely wrong with you… you just don’t know what it is.


Am I ugly?

When I was a kid, I thought I was.

Sometimes I think people don’t understand how lonely it is to be a kid.

Like, you don’t matter.

So, I’m 8 and I have these toys… these dolls. My favorite is this ugly girl doll who I call Clementine.

And I keep yelling at her “You can’t be ugly! Be pretty!”

It’s weird. Like if I can transform her, I would magically change too.

It’s weird how we personify inanimate objects.


Can I just hold on to this memory? Please let me hold on to this one.

Sometimes it’s moments that we want to hold on to. But moments are called just that, for a reason.

Alexander Pope:

How happy is the blameless vessels lot

The world forgetting by the world forgot

Eternal sunshine of a spotless mind

Each prayer accepted, and each wish resigned

Ignorance is bliss.. so the saying goes. Sometimes its better not to remember… but not being able to remember that something happened in our lives makes us lose a part of ourselves.


Too many guys think that Im a concept or that I cpomplete them.. or I’m gonna make them alive.

I’m just a fucked up girl who’s looking for my own piece of mind. Don’t assign me yours

There are times when we look for a partner cus we think something is missing. But it shouldn’t be like that. Someone should not complete you, cus you were never incomplete in the first place. We make preconceived notions of someone who would complete us… who would make us alive. And when we realize that we have just fooled ourselves into thinking that way… that’s when we lose interest with the other.

Each individual’s worries is as great as another. It doesn’t matter how mundane it may be. But anything that bothers you is worth bothering about. But putting that on one person just makes you the horse in a kalesa. The kalesa wont work without the horse. Although the horse can run without a kalesa. And if the kalesa finally rids of the ropes that binds him… you’ll be left unable to run your own course. Hence trying to find another horse to latch into.

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