BLAHcation

I planned to go to Cebu then to Bohol from January 18-22, but unfortunately my plans got whacked. So I decided to go to Batangas instead, and just my luck.. my mom didn’t ALLOW me to go because she said its too dangerous. Yes… she did not let me go. Apparently, she still thinks I’m 12. I don’t blame her.

So after an hour of constant screaming and hearing “Maiintindihan mo pag nagka anak ka!” and my sister echoing in the background, I finally succumbed. So instead of my 1 week out of town just-a-few-hours-away-from-home-vacation, I ended up just checking in a local hotel… but wait! There’s more! It had to be a hotel where my mom knew the managers! Yes… she said that I would get a 30% discount and the managers can have a close watch. Nice.

So to make everyone happy but myself, I decided to just try to sound happy about the discount I got and told my mom all about it. What a nice BLAHcation.

Here’s a view from my hotel room. No I didn’t swim in the pool… Just didn’t feel like it.

So anyways, I wasn’t going to let the little setbacks stop my BLAHcation so I soaked in the tub.

I was lucky enough to have a friend who cared enough for my well being while having my BLAHcation and gave me my favorite veggies so I can smoke my head off! And that I did. It was such a beautiful feeling. Soaking in a tub for an hour as the bubbles tickled my skin.

I watched my toes mutate from its smooth elastic skin to the pruney leather that made me laugh a little. I laughed cus I realized that in a few years, that’s how my entire body will look like.

Time is so fleeting.

Listening to Iron and Wine’s Flightless Bird, American mouth, Blue Foundation and the other ethereal songs I have in my ipod just added to the little world I was making for myself.

I realized why I wanted to have a vacation.

I wanted to escape from myself. I needed it. New Skin. Like a snake slithering down a garden bush. Shedding its old scales. Not to get rid of the old pattern it had but to make room for new flesh… new shapes.

It made me sad a little bit as I watched once again the pruned up feet soaking in the tub motionless. I’ll never lose this skin. It’ll get dark, painted, cleaned, dirtied and wrinkled but it’ll never really change. But I still want to try.

I came back to work with a new awareness of myself. A sense of calmness.

But as I stepped inside the room, all this calmness melted like butter in a hot pan. Like the room that accomodated me in my private getaway. Disarray.

It’s difficult to keep a serene state of being when you work where I work. It’s impossibility. My being such a sponge doesn't help me one bit. But it's not necessarily negative. It’s like a never ending printing press. You always have something new to read. New Headlines. Editorials. The funny pages. Horoscope. Celebrity page. Crossword puzzle. You just have to read. I might as well post it here.

Fighting it is futile especially when you know it's a part of you.

Tranquility never stood a chance.

I need to get my nails done.

Snap!

Back to my old self again.